MKUTANONI..

Mara kwingi ninapotoka ninakutana na watu wazuri,wakiwa wao ndiyo wao hasa ndiyo ikawe hata maana ya kukutana,pengine tukimaliza mkutano upate japo neno jema kwamba karibu kwenye mkutano,sijui ikiwa imetendeka nini ndani humo,maana kabla tulisema bila kujuana,pale ikaenda kimeisha kikao tupeane karibu,hizi zikiwa na maana ya sijapenda ulichokifanya na vile karibu sana,maana utasisitizwa hata siku nyingine,hapa sio kujua kwa kuwapo,ni kujua kwa kuelewa,tumejuana kwa kukutana.

Pengine sio bahati mbaya ila ni nzuri iliyokuwa na ubaya,kama vile jamaa alisema kuhusu mwongo ya kwamba ” Kuna mtu anauongea uongo si kwasababu amedhamiria ila ni kwasababu anajua huo ndio ukweli huyu hawezi kuwa mwongo, bali huyu haujui ukweli”.kwa kweli sio kosa la kukutana,bali ni vyema tumekutana ili kuelezana,pengine kila mtu awe na lake ili kuweza  maana,pengine ili kucheka zaidi ama kununa,maana ya kununa siijui zaidi yake,pengine ni kufa tu..

Sasa si italeta ugomvi,tena itakuwa ni bahati mbaya,maana kuna watu wanajua kununa kweli kweli,hapo bila ya kujua wanapoteza namna ya kucheka,kutabasamu..maana maisha ya mwanadamu aliyefanikiwa kiroho na namna awezavyo ni kucheka,hata kutabasamu maana ni mwanzo wa kucheka.

Hakuna maana ya kusema wewe ni nani wakati wewe ni nani,maana inahitaji uje kwa adabu tena ukitaka kusema wewe sio nani,maana hakuna aliyekutilia maanani,’hapo mwanzo alikuwepo sungura na fisi’,hadithi hizi hatuzitaki siku hizi.asante sana kwa kukutana maana imefika kipindi nimekueleza hata yale ya jana,ngoja kesho ije tutafayaje kama sio kusikiliza ya jana?kama umeyaacha mawili kayachukue,ikiwa haiwezekani ingia hivyo hivyo mkutanoni.

HAKI YANGU..

Haya  yangu

Tanzania isiwe ni nchi ya kulalama,eti tukataka kufanya kwa kusema ni haki,pengine kila mtu yapasa kufahamu haki yake,haina maana ya kuumia na kulalama kwa nini umeumia,hapo hatutatumia udikteta,hapo hatutafanya maonevu,pengine kwa yaliyo machache tusifanye roho zetu zikawa siasa,hapa lazima tuelewe siasa ni nini,maana kwa pengine jana ikatokea mtoto wa jirani amejikwaa basi utasikia chama chao  hao,kesho ikija tunasema aaah hawa watakuwa wamelipizia,tukiwa tunaenda na kusema tunajengea watoto wetu maisha,hapa tutakuwa tunajijengea makaburi kwa bila ya taarifa,maana wengine wataona haina haja hata ya kukuzika,watachoma moto tu.

Kesho jamani ije bila ya kutokusahau,maana mengine wamekuja leo wakiwa wameumia sana.tufikiri hapo mwanzo kama tulikuwa hatulimi,leo hii tunaambiwa ni kilimo kwanza,ni kweli hata iliposikika,inaleta maana ya kuwa imemlenga Yule anayeambiwa,maana hata mtu ukakubari ndiyo lazima tufahamu kwamba kesho itatokea lake,wengine hawana hata kazi,eti tunasema hawaja soma,hawa wengine waliosoma ndio wanapigwa ili kuonyesha haki,nani apigane?maana mwenye haki asiyesoma,mimi yangu haya mwenzangu na mimi sijui haki yako iko wapi,tena angalia usije zikwa mzima.

Pengine nchi yetu imekuwa tambala bovu linalongoja matope yaje ilki kuyazoa,yakija masafi si wanasafisha wenyewe,tena huwa si vurugu kwani huitwa ruzuku,wanagawana wachache tu,wasichoke wengine kutupa msaada,wachoke wengine wenye kumaliza misaada,maana imetokea mkubwa kajua kama mkubwa kajua unadhani patakalika?

Haki yangu nitaifurahia mwenyewe,haki yangu haipaswi kwenda kama kifaranga na mwewe,leo isiwe lakini kesho itakuwa,haya ni yangu yamependezwa ingawa tunaangamizwa,kubali mdogo ndiyo wakubwa walivyotufundisha,kubali mkubwa ndiyo wadogo wanachostahiri,chukua chako ondoka,maana vengine vya wengine,

Haya zenu jamani...!!

DIS A B I L I T Y...

» Most people with personality disorders have what is sometimes referred to as "disorders of the self," because they often don’t believe that there is anything wrong with them. They think, “This is me,” or “This is the way I have always been,” and self-preservation makes them want to stay that way. Personality disordered people are the ones who usually come to mind when we think of the term, “toxic person.” Here are some insights and steps for dealing with these highly difficult - even, impossible - people

1. Recognize that impossible people exist; there isn't a thing you can do about it. The first step is all about facing reality: if you think you might be dealing with an impossible person, you're probably right.. The headaches you save will be your own.

2. Do not call them out because it will frustrate them. They could become more difficult, but just stand your ground and be confident.

3. Be aware that some people simply aren't compatible. Sometimes, a person who gets along with everybody else quite well is an impossible person for you personally. Most relationships between people contain many shades of gray, but some people simply mix as well as oil and water. It is common to hear your impossible person proclaim that "Everyone else likes me." This is an attempt to shift the blame to you, so don't buy it. It doesn't matter how this person interacts with others. The fact is, the way the two of you interact together is terrible. Remember that blame never changes the facts.

4. Understand that it's not you, it's them. This can be surprisingly difficult, considering that impossible people have complete mastery of blaming skills. Chances are, the more often they blame you, the more they themselves are actually at fault. Keep in mind that this is not to be used as a way to blame them. Blaming is what impossible people do, and they do it well. Instead, you are only facing the facts, for your own sake. That being said, here's a simple way to tell: if you accept responsibility for your own faults and resolve to improve yourself, it's probably not you. Remember, impossible people "can do no wrong."

5. Defuse them. Stay calm, don't spit angry words at them, and whatever you do don't cry - this will only stimulate them to do more of the difficult behaviour. Try ignoring them. Do not, under any circumstances, join them in bashing, blaming or complaining. Do not bad talk to their face or to anyone else because then you are sinking down to their level. Add something positive. Redirect by focusing on something, anything, positive in the situation or in the conversation. Whatever you do just stay calm!

It can help to realize that the side of a conversation that contains the most truth will always win out, and it's best to "name the game" that an impossible person is playing, usually by asking them or the group a question that starts "Why...," (rephrasing their "impossible" position to illuminate the consequences). You will move the conversation to a higher level, and the group, or even just the impossible individual, in a one-on-one, will respond to this "higher truth," although the individual will usually respond by (more) obfuscating.

Avoid one-on-ones with this type of person, actively; in other words, when you see them coming to corner you, suggest, and then demand that at least a third party be brought in. This will often thwart the impossible person's plans, and a typical response from them will be to unilaterally decide that "we don't need anyone else." You are perfectly free to claim your need for a third party to help your understanding, and insist upon it. Bullies never stand up to a crowd.

6. Realize that you cannot deal with impossible people the same way you deal with everyone else. In some ways, they need to be treated like children. Give up all hope of engaging these folks in any kind of reasonable conversation. It will never happen, at least with you. Remember what happened the last fifty times you tried to have a civilized discussion about the status of your relationship with this person. Chances are, every such attempt ended in you being blamed for everything. Decide now to quit banging your head against a brick wall.

To be continued....!!

KAULI YANGU...!!

Mengi mengi yasiwe na haja ya kuyapitia,mengi pengine isije kuwa kwamba nimeyapitia,inapofika wakati haina haya ya kusumbukia,inapofika wakati ina haja sana ya kuyasumbukia,pengine ni machache yaliyo na kwingi kwa kutokea mengine ni machache yasioeleweka kwa wengi waliotukia,maana kuwapo sasa ni kuingia humo,tena ikieleweka imetokea wapi,hapo tukaja kuogopa ajabu zaidi,maana isiwe maswali kwa kuuliza,wala isije kuwa majibu kwa kujipatia,hapa hatutaelewa hata hayo machache yaliyo na kwingi kwa kutokea,mwalimu anasema a shika hapa,soma na uelewe,mwalimu akiwa na darasa pale darasani,hatujazoea nini kama kwani 'practical' tunafanya darasani?

Mengi machache yalitangulia,yalijua yanakuja haya sasa,kwani kwa kipindi kinapoingia ndiyo pale mengine tutaweza kutamkia,tena nikasema nimependeza sana,tena ukasema umependeza sana,haapa nafsi yako lazima ikubali,tena ipende kwa kuelewa imekubali nini,haya machache yamesemekana kuwa na uwalakini,labda tusubiri mengine yatakuja na umakini,hatujachelewa sanaa kwa kutaka kuyajua,hapa ni mwanafunzi na darasa kwa maana ya kusubiria lile linalokuja,kwani ni mwanafunzi alitaka aende la juu na amalizie na la chini,maana hapa tukisema saba mpaka moja wengine wana nane,kweli tumependeza sana,maana sisi wote wa usiku na hata wale walio kuja mchana,tukisema chukua haina maana ya kusema tumeibiana,pale au hapa tunakuwa tumeibiana,pengine maneno hayana maana,pengine ikafika mchana ukafanya ya jana.

Nimezunguka sana wa kesho kutwa watafahamia,wengine walikuja na kusema eti kwa nini sijafanya vile,labda sikuwauliza kwa nini nimefanya hivi,pengine kwa kukalili ndiyo ikaeleweka,hapa wakiwa wameshika machache ya mdomoni bila akilini kuyafikiria,sijui wala isiwe swali kwa kusema yangetokaje,maana bila kutazama itakupasa ujijibu mwenyewe.nasubiri vingi na haki yangu ntendewe,maana ya kuwa nayo ni vile inavyotendeka,hatuwezi kuwa na akili tukaziweka tukasema pale kakosea,wapi kapatia na mbona hukusema?hapa tutaingilia mlango wa chooni,maana hata huko mbele kulivyo kaa kaa ni kama vile imewekwa,si ni njia fupi…basi yapasa kuweka miba.pengine njia itaeleweka.

BAJETI...

Kuweka bajeti ni kuifahamu pesa,bajeti inawekwa,tena na mwanadamu na wala sio ndege, kujua inatumika vipi na wapi ikiwa na sababu iliyo kwanza ,hizo zikiwa ni namna,maana tusijejiulizehapo imekujaje.?au pengine tujiulize tunaishije?hizo zote ni bajeti,hata ikiwa dogo kubwa halikwamishi bajeti iliyokusudiwa kama akiba,maana hagusi mtu.

lengo la kufuatilia fedha ni kurekebisha matumizi ya mapato. Kutathmini upya gharama yako yote na kujiuliza kama ni muhimu. Kama ni, je, kuna njia mbadala ya bei nafuu?
Kutathmini bajeti yako. Watu wengi hawana kutambua ni kiasi gani wao wanatakiwa kuwa nacho ili kupata haki yao,wao ikiwa ni kutumia mpaka idadi ya kupeleka kuelekea kufa,maana na tamaa wanakata.

                                      

 
 Kama huna moja, jiulize kwa nini.maana mengine yanakuja bila idadi na Bajeti inaweza kuwa rafiki yako bora wakati matumizi ya kupita yakiendelea.Kama huna moja, jiulize kwa nini.maana mengine yanakuja bila idadi Bajeti inaweza kuwa rafiki yako bora wakati matumizi ya kupita yakiendelea.sidhani kama tutashindwa Kushughulikia maswala ya fedha zako sababu ya mwelekeo na kasi ni nyingi. Je, ni yako? Unajaribu kuweka juu na rafiki yako? Je, kutumia sana kutakusaidia kuepuka kushughulika na suala lingine?pengine mwengine? Kujua masuala yako na fedha, na kuanza kukabiliana nayo.

Kuna tofauti kati ya anataka na anahitaji. Unaweza kuhitaji maduka ya vyakula, lakini wanataka kanga. Je, ni muhimu katika maisha yako? Nini thamani? Kuanza kuangalia manunuzi yako na kuwatambua kama haja au unataka. kaa na mahitaji tu mpaka kupata matumizi yako chini ya udhibiti.

Kujiuliza kama wewe ni  umeamua kuangalia kwa furaha ya papo  kwani ni Mazoezi ya kuchelewesha kwa furaha ya kusubiri mpaka ije  kweli kuwa na fedha kwa ajili ya nini unataka.